"Look at the Child"

Sorry for the delay in posting... computer was being repaired. Here's a morning in October. Both girls nearly ready to get out the door and I so wanted to just look at them.. take a moment and see them. Montessori has a phrase "Look at the child." This is helping me cope with the waves motherhood brings, the sometimes crashing and the sometimes rolling waves. The phrase is the basis of Montessori philosophy, and translates into seeing the chid for what and who they are. For instance, if I can catch Tessa in a moment that might be for her challenging, (which, of course, translates into a challenging moment for me) and look into her eyes, really look at her and see her for a tiny little person in this great big world, just trying to communicate in words what she needs. If I can see that she is such a little person, still very much a baby, with countertops that she can't reach, a toilet that comes up to her chest, a bed that is nearly as tall as she is, these things and looking at her help me to see her and in turn, help her through whatever developmental phase happens to be taking over her body and mind at that current moment... then... I can breathe and then I can help her breathe and then "I have truly "Looked at the child." http://www.amazon.com/Look-Child-Expression-Montessoris-Insights/dp/0960101624.

Just a thought

Truly Happy For Her Happy Birthday

Teagan finds such delight in Tessa. How lucky I am to witness such a bond

On her actual birthday, Tessa's best friend came over for lunch. We had an impromptu party and instead of cake, I put 2 fig newtons on a plate and put candles in them. The girls LOVED the "little happy cakes."

Here is Tessa, first thing in the morning on her bday... opening her gifts from her aunt Christine and her cousins Kaylee and Allison... Tessa thought the butterfly wings were "nice!"

Tessa opening her presents from Grandma Kathy. She finally got some play doh (Sp???) When she opened it, along with all the markers and crayons, she ran to get Teagan..."Teagan see... markers... oh my... play doh... Teagan see??.... oh my... wow!"

We went to Cooks, Inc. in Abacoa for Tessa's family party. It was so nice to all be together. It's super cool there, you get to go into the kitchen and make your own pizza. (Thurs. is Pizza Night) abacoacooks.com

Here's Tessa's great aunt, Doreen.

Tessa and her 2nd cousins, Claire and Ayla
Here we are with Tessa's other 2nd cousin, Kelli. We are putting on our gloves to get the pizza making started.
Tessa chose red sauce, olives and monzerella. And using her fork very intently.
My dad and Tess

Teagan rolls...

Meal of the Past Few Weeks

This has been our staple for the past few weeks. We have all enjoyed it, including Tess.

I basically just put all this stuff together and don't really have a reciepe that I follow but here's what I do:

Corn and Shrimp Chowder

3-4 Small Potatoes diced (I've been getting beautiful Organic Yukons from our good friend Chris at Palm Beach Organics www.palmbeachorganics.org)

1/2 an onion chopped

3 cobs of corn cut off cob or about 1/2 bag or frozen

olive oil

good size pat of butter to saute onions in

salt and pepper

cream

Shrimp (1/2 lb to 1 lb depending on how much shrimp you want)

any herbs, can use dried too: bay leaf, rosemary, thyme...

First, thaw shrimp and once thawed cut into bite size pieces.

Okay, saute onions with some salt (my sister taught me this, sautéing onions always need salt to release their best flavors) . Once transparent, add diced potatoes and cover potatoes w/ water. Add a decent amount of salt, pepper, bay leaf, rosemary (whatever else you want) and let those cook on med. to bring to slow boil and until potatoes are soft.

Pour mixture into blender or food processor or something like that and add about 1/2 c. of cream and blend just a bit until thick. Add this back to the pot and stir, add more water if too thick, add corn and more salt if need be. Keep warm.

In frying pan, heat olive oil, cover shrimp pieces w/ some pepper and salt and saute until pink.

Add shrimp to soup mixture. That's it.... tasty w/ a nice salad.

A few days before 2

These photos were taken a few days before Tessa turned 2. Lately our days are marked by an ebb and flow, well, a rather strong ebb and flow. Well, some pulls too. I keep asking myself if things are challenging because I have two children. And I think not necessarily. Tessa's growing need for independence is lovely and tough at the same time. Caring for Teagan is not really difficult, she is happy doing what ever it is we are doing. She's easy to sleep, easy to rise, and smiley nearly all the time. Extremely relaxed. And Tessa's happy too, she's delightful, charming and these are the qualities I have to remember as I navigate through her increasing demands that bring frustration, and yelling and crying. She is, as my mother tells me often, very much like me. And the same goes for me. I have to remember that in this time when I am sleep deprived, emotionally drained, hormonally taxed, I too, possess a kindness and life force that pulls me through. I, too, can be delightful. I must remember this and not judge my self harshly. Forgive myself for my at times, impatience and faults. I can thank Tessa for this lesson!

This past weekend we attended a La Leche League Parenting Conference. Sat. night was a family fun night, full of games and music and kiddie pools with floating, plastic ducks. Tessa had fun in the water and when I turned around, she had taken off all her clothes. So, here, in a room of about 300 people, Tessa wandered through the crowds naked. I took some photos and then proceeded to wrap her in a towel. But, the crowd of parents enjoyed it and she wasn't phased in the slightest. Such is childhood.

Teagan's eyes continue to enhance her every expression


Most days after the girls wake from their naps, (that is, if Tessa will nap... but that's another story!) I give them an opportunity to interact without me interfering. On this day, and increasingly so lately, Tessa is more and more gentle.

Teagan 12 weeks and she got her first tooth!!!!

It's been a few weeks....

Teagan and baby Will (Molly's second child) finally get some photos together. Finally. Will is 2 weeks older than Teagan. They are both really chill and don't mind the chaos and demands of their older sisters, Libby and Tessa. That's how it goes!!!

Nana and Teagan. People often tell me they look alike. It's in the eyes... Teagan's are still changing but seem blue.

Tessa and her best friend, Libby spend some time by the pool.

Libby's mom, Molly and I feel so lucky to have each other. At least I know I feel lucky! She and I have known each other for years and years, our mothers were friends when we were about this age. We reconnected several years back as running partners, and have spent many very early mornings, running in the lovely Florida heat. It's been so nice having established our relationship before children, and now with the children I am finding even more so, how much I cherish her. We talk each morning and if it's past 9 and we haven't spoken, then we know it's either been a REALLY bad night or one of us is running. To have this unspoken agreement of support and kinship gives me comfort in this territory of unknowingness and at times, complete chaos. Molly helps remind me that all this is normal. All the feelings of isolation and at times, despair, the quiet joy of toddlers, the non sleeping, the pains in our stomachs that we feel when leaving our babies... we both speak to our children with kindness, we have respect for our children, we nurse together and want the same things from this experience of motherhood. Of course, we don't always know how to get what we want but I look to Molly to help me find it. And ultimately, what we want is children who grow to be individuals, kind and compassionate and confident. And not so remarkably, these are the qualities I honor in Molly. I'm so glad our children are growing together.

Tessa eats pasta... even though I'm her mom, I still have to say...look at those eyes!

My girls. This photo was taken last week. Tessa fell earlier that day. Cooper, the lizard chasing puppy and she collided. Within seconds, the bump on her head was purple and the size of a golf ball. We were at my moms and she said we had to go to the Dr. We went to Urgent care where they sent us to the ER for a cat scan. All seemed okay but just to be safe, we went. Brian and I and Tessa spent 6 hrs in the ER. My body was full of fear for the first time in Tessa's life. I was scared. Tessa did wonderfully, she laid still in the cat scan and was a charming patient though when we left, she cried and cried and told me the story of what happened..."Cooper, Tessa boom boom, Cooper sad. Tessa sad. Tessa cried...Cooper sad... Tessa band aid, medicine, doctor..."
So really, Teagan looks like Colleen's baby, right? And quite similar in temperment... those eyes are the watching kind... still and observant. Kind. Very kind.

And we finally met Jewel. Our friends, Barbara and Glenn's granddaughter who lives in California. She is a bit older than Tessa and they loved each other. Lots of kisses, running, and eating. Jewel introduced Tessa to nori and clams, though Jewel doesn't like clams. Tess ate about 30 of them and woke up the next day a little under the weather... and still asking for more Jewel.

Vacation: Tessa says it was "fun" we did "eating, playing, and swimming"

This past weekend we took a trip over to Sanibel Island.  We had fun, especially in retrospect... it was lots of fun.  Hard though, this traveling thing with children this age. But we faired we despite the stop and go traffic on the way there, crying children, hard to get to sleep toddler, several rooms and a not that fantastic hotel... (by the 3rd room we were satisfied)... and a LOT of togetherness, which of course is the point but also, of course, trying!  That's the way it goes though, and Brian and I are glad to have made something worth remembering.  Even more than ever, I know these times are only what we make them.

This is the adventure

Me, running, with both the girls.... really really really hard. My arms ache so bad, even once I'm done.  I am reminded of all the struggles I have worked through over the last 12 years that I've been running.  And this struggle, how freaking hot it is and how freaking heavy this stroller and car seat and toddler and infant.... well, I am doing it. I am doing it, somehow.  I hope my girls both know the power of mind over matter.  It's truly a testament to mothering, how to do what is best for you, the mother, maintaining your own person, your own self and still meet the needs of your children.  So what if I have to take a walk break and tie Tessa's shoe or stop so she can pee or swat a mosquito off Teagan's forehead.  At least I'm out there, maintaining some sense of my identity!
Our dear dear friends, Barbara and Glenn entertaining Teagan or maybe even more so, entertaining themselves!  Barbara was here at the house during Teagan's birth. We are lucky to have their love.

Tessa and her mittens. We read "Goodnight Moon"  and Tessa found these mittens and when she wears them she says "Goodnight mittens, goodnight kittens"

Cloth Diapers

I wrote this up for my best friend,Carrie who is expecting identical twin boys this winter.  Just some thoughts as a few other friends have asked me about my cloth diapers.  Washing and care to follow in a few days:

Diapers:  I use a few websites and often call to place my orders bc they are so helpful.

www.nickisdiapers.com and www.maineclothdiaper.com. 

and my good friend, Nadiyah who owns an organic baby store…

O Baby Organics

http://www.obabyorganics.biz/

 Nickisdiapers: free shipping on diaper covers!!!!

1. I would suggest using Chinese Prefolds from age new born though nearly walking. I used a few different sizes and they were/are great. Cheap and pretty easy to wash, dry. These require diaper cover (see next section) 

 http://www.maineclothdiaper.com/proddetail.php?prod=170

Sizing for Prefolds:  I would suggest getting Premie, Infant and Baby Premium as well. Premies are good for newborns of all sizes (Teagan and Tess both wore these for 2 weeks) Once they outgrow these, I use them as layering for nighttime diapers.  

Snappi brand fastners are good to keep these on instead of pins.  You will need probably 5-10 of these (Cheap) 

http://www.maineclothdiaper.com/proddetail.php?prod=3#

2. Once they get more mobile and bigger I switched to a "one size fits all, fitted diaper."   Fitted diapers require a diaper cover as well.  They have an extra insert that snaps into them to provide for more absorbency which is good for night and naps.  

These types of diapers come in a variety of sizes/fabrics. I chose to buy cotton ones, but many of my friends use a synthetic material diaper (pulls moisture better)  but they are more money and the cotton worked fine for me.  The "one size fits all"  is a good option because they snap tighter or looser depending on size of baby. So once you buy these, you don't have to keep getting more and more sizes as they grow. Tessa wore these from about 11 months-current (at night and nap).  They are expensive but totally worth it. The brand I chose was the cheapest I found (but again they are cotton and not hemp! Which I don't care about so they worked for me...) Again though there are many high-tech other kinds of fitted, one size  just more money....

I got these from a 3rd website tinytush.com (they probably carry the covers and the snappi fastners but I found that the other websites took less time for shipping) Tinytush.com is run by 1 mom and her family so it's slower to process orders.

http://www.tinytush.com/One-Size-Diapers_c_72.html

There are some different options as far as organic/not organic goes...you're call on that but I would suggest either the Tiny Tush Trim Organic or the Tiny Tush Trim regular.

If you wanted to opt for the more expensive, higher tech ones, I have used some Bum Genius Fitted, one Size and they are really  nice. But around $17.00 per diaper compared to $12.00 with Tiny Tush cotton.

3. I also have a few All in One's though I have tried many different brands and all of them leak. But I keep a few on hand just in case I run out of covers. The all in one's are diaper and cover included. Easy but leaky (i've found)

As for How Many???  If/When you call these places, ask their opinion.

I probably have the following and did pretty good with it.  I always end up getting more covers every few months as they get misplaced.

Premie Prefolds-figure 24 per baby

Infant 24 per baby or maybe 36 (you can see once babies come)

Premium 12-18 (though with these you can probably get away with less bc you will be transitioning to the fitted diapers by this time.  )  Don't order these before babies come.  Hold off on this size and just see how it's going.

Fitted diapers: 18-24 per baby  

OVERVIEW:  All cloth diapers require 3-4 washes before you can use them, so go ahead and get the prefolds before baby comes... I also got the fitted ones and liked having everything all ready (but I am neurotic like that)

Covers:

I have tried soooo many kinds of covers, in all price and cuteness categories and my favorite (the cheapest and best at keeping them dry) are the Bummis Super Whisper Pant. the Pant NOT the Wrap or Cover:

http://nickisdiapers.com/catalog.php?category=74

Get at least 8-10 per baby, per size (this brand/type runs big so I suggest getting premie size and buy them as they grow.

More on washing ect later

A Plastic Wine Glass filled with Water