Tessa loves her new "Tessa" shirt. My dear friend Carrie sent it to her and a "Teagan" one too. Tess put it on immediately and headed outside to show the "kids... Trevor and Cali". Sje rode her scooter and then carried her scooter. (see below) Once it got too heavy, she rode it again
Teagan is quite content sleeping...
Recently a close friend of my mom passed away. Ms. Betty. Ms. Betty was my mom's assistant in her classroom for 7+ years. She was in her seventies and seemed to exude as much energy as the kindergarten children. She could sew, she made my mom and my sister and me matching aprons. She painted sets for the school plays, she played kickball, she baked. She baked biscotti for my wedding, she made birthday cakes for my mom, she made gingerbread houses for the children. She was jolly and good at laughing. My mom loved her and has been struck by the sadness of losing her. I have been struck by the passing of time, how quickly life passes. Ms. Betty's life too, I imagine.
I always thought there was something else out there in life that would be better than whatever I was doing. How the future would always be more poignant, more fulfilling than the now. And yet, now, particularly with the birth of my children I am certain that no time in my past will ever be recreated. The joy I have felt in the past, will never "be" again. It is a matter of circumstance, the time we spend with friends can not be reclaimed, No future holds anything necessarily better. While the future may bring more joy, more experiences, the emotions of here and now will pass too. I don't think we can know this early on, this realization comes from missing our past. This realization comes from loss, losing what was and can not ever be again.
Such is life, the lessons and what I am learning. I am trying desperately to imprint each passing moment with my two babes. Knowing, this time, too, will pass.
