brief posting

we haven't lost ourselves... I've just been in the midst of crazy work and brian got a new job and we are still not in our house and tessa turned 3! And we full of gratitude for doreen, whose opened her home to us with grace.

i've misplaced the connecting wire for the camera and misplaced the battery charger so i haven't been able to upload photos or movies and also...i've been writing about our trip to nevis and in an attempt to simply create a travel diary, it's turned into something more important. it is the beginning of my wanting to write since the children were born. well, not my wanting to write, that isn't it exactly but it's the first thing that has kept my attention to this degree. what i've written has been calling to me, not in a "lani, you should do this" or a "lani why aren't you writing" way but instead just as something i have truly wanted to be with. that's what writing can do. call to me and like a child, you don't want to leave it... so. soon i will post some more.

but here are a few photos... which won't upload so... next time. soon. i hope.

And so she went

And so she walked, determined and confident. Her 3ft body knew the path, the way and her pink glitter shoes carried her. She wore a blue party dress, adorned with tulle, reaching her ankles. I watched her, she needed no help. Pink, butterfly back pack strapped on her back, her matching lunchbox, she held tightly to her chest. She held it with both arms. In she marched, into the classroom we had been peaking into all summer long, she knew the bathroom, the water fountain, the playground, the picnic table. Down went her back pack and lunch box into her cubby and she spun around offering her teacher a hug, "Hello Ms. Allen."

And me? Left only to watch and know how uttertly full of pride she was. I didn't cry, I felt only my own version of pride. I gave her a quick hug, and as I did so wondered for a moment what to say to her..."You're great, Tessa, you are great."

She has all she needs within her. I know this to be true, and have since she birthed. She is a harvester, a Tessa, a maker of what she needs, and on this day, she knew it.

Here's the journey in photos, beginning with breakfast at our "new home" at Doreen's.